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Passion to Passion pattern
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This pattern will actually be constructed by her. All you have to do is to carry
her description of a passion for something over to a passion for someone (and
not forgetting to self-point while doing that:) and ask her, how would that
feel.
By Kevin Kupal, mindlist:
"It works well because you'll be seducing her from her own side of the fence,
using feelings that she already feels about something she's "passionate" about,
as opposed to trying to install feelings from the outside.
I have field tested this and have come to one general conclusion: it works only
in women who have a "passion" for something... be it mountainclimbing, biking,
helping people etc. It fails with "boring" women... the types who say "I only
stay at home and watch TV".
Here are the steps.
1. Find out if she has any activity she feels "passionate" about. Most likely,
these may be her work, her hobby, extra-curricular activities (if still in
school)... anything she would do even if she did it for free.
2. Ask her... what's important to you in doing (activity)? What do you feel when
you go (activity)? C'mon, tell me what it feels like when you're there,
actually doing (activity). At this point, I am actually putting her in an
internal rep of actually doing that activity, and associating her into the
states the she feels while doing the activity. I'm eliciting feelings/criteria.
You're basically looking for nominalized "feelings" such as "satisfaction" ,
fulfillment, love, challenge, "rush" etc.
3.Then, feedback these nominalized "feelings" and link these to you. I was
just wondering...well...a funny thought occurred to me...what would it be like
when you just find yourself feeling all those feelings you have for (activity)
for another person (point to self)? Can you imagine what's it like if
those feelings you have for (activity), you also feel for, let's say, your
boyfriend (point to self) ?
Example
Me: I was just wondering, what do you really love doing? Name something that you
would do that you find so engrossing that you'd do it, even if you were never
paid to do it?
Her: Well... when I get some stacked up vacation leaves, I go mountain climbing
with the local mountain climbing association.
Me : Oh...you like mountain climbing. I'm curious...what is it about mountain
climbing that makes you love it? What do you feel when you're mountain climbing?
What's it like when you're there now, mountain climbing?
Her: Well...uphill its very hard and steep...but once you get to the summit, you
can feel the wind on your face...all that exhiliration...freedom...sense of
accomplishment and just this feeling of fulfillment...those make the hike worth
every step...
Me: (giggle a little)...A funny thought just came over me. I'm just wondering,
what would it be like if you could feel all those feelings in another human
being? I mean, what if you could just IMAGINE, having a boyfriend (point to
self, subtly) who also makes you FEEL ALL THAT EXHILIRATION...that FREEDOM that
sense of ACCOMPLISHMENT and deep FULFILLMENT. When YOU'VE FOUND THAT GUY, when
the time comes that YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM...feeling all those feelings...NOW
what would it be like?
Her : Gee...I'd do him just as much as I do mountain climbing...and with equal
passion...oh...I didn't mean it like I said it! (hahaha...Freudian slip!)
(yada yada)"
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