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Falling in Love patterns
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Estonian translation
Pattern 1
An example of using quoting, stacking realities, anchoring and time-distortion.
Using Ross Jeffries' original as the basis.
You: "You know... I was reading the most interesting article about how
men and women fall in love differently. And it was saying that men usually feel
an attraction first, but that women, by contrast, usually feel a connection and
then become more attracted. I mean, you know that kind of special connection you
sometimes feel... that mysterious compelling click that takes place right THERE
(touch her solar plexus, thus planting an anchor:)..." (See anchoring)
Don't forget that she might interrupt you any second and start talking about her
feelings. Let her! Encourage her! Be ready to change the course of the
conversation, listen to her trance words, anchor the feelings while she
describes them to you. (See trance words)
You: "So... this article was saying, that when it's really special...
that's when you can just STOP... and IMAGINE a time in future... say six months
from now...blah blah blah". (See time distortion)
You: "(having directed the conversation in the direction of how men and
women fall in love differently) You know, I was telling my friend about this,
and she was saying, when she really starts to FEEL THAT CONNECTION.... and GROW
even more attracted… she begins to pay attention in a special way. First,
becomes aware... of the rhythm of her breathing... the beating of her heart...
and that sense of growing fascination... such that as she continues to be aware
of all this... one particular feature of the guys face begins to rivet her
attention... so as she just continue to keep looking… it's like the rest of the
environment disappears... and the entire world becomes this face... this voice
that just start to wrap itself around her like a pair of powerful but gentle
arms... pulling her in... deeper.... just allowing that warmth surround her…
etc. etc:)"
Well, by now the situation should be ripe enough for you to throw in your own
opinion about the subject:) You could make up a pattern of your own or acquire
some ready-made patterns from Ross Jeffries at
www.seduction.com (they cost a lot though, I'm talking hundreds of dollars).
See also:
Quoting and stacking realities
Anchoring
Trance words
Time distortion
Pattern 2
Extended version of the above pattern. This time no commentaries, no pointers,
no interruptions - just the pattern. Modified from Ross Jeffries' original FiL
pattern:
"I was reading this article that was talking about the difference in the way men
and women fall in love. And it was saying that men usually feel an attraction
right away but women by contrast usually feel a connection and then BECOME VERY
ATTRACTED.
I mean you know that kind of special connection you sometimes feel ... that
mysterious compelling click that takes place right there (right in the center
part of you).... where you really feel so warm, safe and comfortable and it just
lets you know this person is going to be so right for you in so many ways and
you just slide into that sense of having known them for ever as if is was meant
to happen, and as if you've always known them, maybe to the point where you
picture this person so big and bright in that special place in your mine.
You don't even know why you just have to go deep inside and find all those
values that are so important to you but you just naturally link them up with
this person such that you find yourself beginning to look through the eyes of
attraction ... cause I find when you look through the eyes of attraction, look
through the eyes of desire, that's when you can make that connection and really
feel that growing bond growing more and more as you begin to imagine being with
this person, in that special way that two people can feel so wonderful.
And as you feel that passion growing more and more maybe to a point where you
feel yourself just letting go completely as you allow this person to come deep
inside releasing all those feelings that have been building and building up
inside, you just want to release them in a flood and I find when you do that now
with me I find you just feel so enchanted like you are now under a love spell
cast upon you such that you can't control yourself and just find yourself going
wild with it, and feeling so powerful a desire for this person where you feel so
warm inside, and ready for them to come deep inside you, that you imagine: "mmmm
how wonderful it will feel you and me together".
So this article was saying, that when it's really special, that's when you can
just stop and imagine a time in the future, say years from now still feeling
that growing attraction and looking back on this moment as being the inevitable
start of it.
My friend ____ was telling me that her roommate has this best friend Dawn. And
when Dawn starts to notice that growing attraction, it happens in a certain way.
Like first, as she looks at the guy, and starts to really pay attention, she
just becomes aware of certain things like the rhythm of her breathing, and the
beating of her heart, and the out line of his face so as she becomes aware of
all these things, one particular feature of his face just starts to rivet her
attention. So she becomes totally absorbed in the connection taking place and as
that's all happening, it's like the warmth of his voice, this voice that just
wraps itself around her like a pair of powerful but gentle arms .. pulling her
in ... deeper ... just allowing that warmth to spread all through her... the
deep rich warmth of it just starts to penetrate her thoughts, and as her heart
beats faster and her breathing increases, that warmth just heats up into fire, a
fire spreading through her chest and down through her belly, a fire pounding and
pulsating all through her, down to where she longs to have it go, until that
desire for him just becomes utterly overwhelming, and she just surrenders to it
completely.
...such that she opens herself up completely and allows this person to come
inside her so deep releasing all those feelings that have been building and
building and building that she just wants to release those feelings in a flood.
I find when I HAVE those responses .. it's like you just let yourself go
completely ... and go wild with it ... now that's how I see it so clearly. Now
what really fascinates me about all this is not just how people connect so
powerfully .. but how people connect with their own needs and wants and
desires."
Pattern 3
Taken from "Sweep women off their feet...":
"If you met the guy of your dreams today, would you let him know first or would
you first tell all your girlfriends about this guy you met and how you think he
is THE ONE?"
"I'd know right away but I don't think I could tell him right away."
"But would you tell your girlfriends?"
"I guess."
"Just as I thought. That's interesting because it's a known fact that guys brag
to their friends about the new girl they picked up when they were rejected yet
they never say a word when they really meet a girl and fall in love. Women on
the other hand are the exact opposite. They get so emotional when they meet
their soul mate that they have to share the news with their girlfriends. The sad
thing is that most people fail to recognize when they meet their soul mates or
if they do they don't have the courage to find out for sure for fear of
disappointment. That's why there are only a few people out there who ever get to
experience true love, because they are not afraid to experienced it. Do you feel
this…(squeeze her hand or at least make some kind of contact)…is the way it
really is?…with me, now…I think most people know it but still deny it hoping
that one day something will just happen out of the blue, but it will never
happen until they just allow it to happen."
Pattern 4
Ross Jeffries:
"Have you ever thought about the difference between attraction and falling in
love?
Well actually I think they take place in different settings. I mean, attraction
is what you experience when you are in the presence of that person, (point) and
you look at him and you think to yourself . . . mmmmmm, and you start to have
certain thoughts, images and you know what that feels like, right?
But falling in love, well I think takes place when your not even in that
person's presence. I mean, can you remember a time when you totally fell for
someone. . . . And as you are looking at me, thinking about what I'm saying, you
can remember how that felt, don't you.
Yea, but here's how it happened. You spent some time with that person (point)
and then you went home and you picture that person in your mind (frame) right?
And then maybe you imagine yourself in all sorts of situations with this person
(point) having lots of fun, and enjoying the feelings and things you like to
enjoy with them. Can you remember how that feels?
And then maybe you start to list all the qualities about him you really like:
He's so funny, he's so smart, he's so fun to be with, whatever they were,
whatever the things are that you really want and enjoy that with someone
(point), right?
Then you get this feeling in the pit of your stomach, right in your solar plexus
that just starts to spread out and lets you know that you really, really love
this person (point). I mean, can you feel that as I describe it to you?
And then, here's the real kicker . . you start saying his name outloud, you
start bringing it up in conversations with your friends, and maybe you even
dance around the house singing it if your a real goof, right?
See, I think everything, including falling in love is a process. And when you do
that process with someone (point) and really let it happen, that's when the
magic takes over, the magic we're really all looking for.
Of course, sometimes that can take months, but the real magic is when it
happened instantly and you know it right away. That's an incredible feeling,
isn't?"
Pattern 5
A minor modification of the previous pattern. Ross Jeffries:
"I was reading in a book about the difference between attraction and being in
love.
And it was really interesting to learn that attraction takes place when like
someone is sitting across from you and you just notice something about them ...
could be anything. The expression on their face, or some unique feature that
just captures your attention, or maybe its just their voice, the way it might
wrap itself around you like a pair of strong, warm but gentle arms and just
penetrates your thoughts and spreads all through you. Whatever it is, it all
that takes place in this person's presence.
But falling in love is what you'll do yourself, after you've gone outside this
person's presence. I mean, think about it ... what happens is you spend some
time with this person and then you go home and you then you picture this person
and your mine, in that special place and you mine, where you keep people you
care deeply for. And then what you do is you start to imagine being with this
person in different situations and in all sorts of different ways like maybe
introducing him to your friends or having all sorts of fun and interesting
adventures together.
And then maybe what you even do is you start to list all the qualities that you
really like about this person and for every quality thing you mention to
yourself you get that feeling right in there where you get that warm feeling and
with every feature you notice that this feeling increases, like oh he's so
smart, or he's so much fun to be with, of he's so understanding of the world.
And then, what you do is you start to repeat his name to yourself and then what
you do, the real kicker is you start bringing up his name in every conversation,
John said this or John said that and that's when you know you're absolutely
hooked on this person, you know what I mean?
And I think when you do that, now, with me, I find that that's when you really
feel that passion growing and you don't even know why you just have to stop and
go deep inside and just allow this person's presence to penetrate you
consciousness and come inside you so deep and when that's happening its like
that feeling there it just starts to move down, deeper as you create an opening
for it, an opening, that just feels all those feelings that have been stored up,
and they just start to flood through that opening... you know what I mean?"
Pattern 6
One of the basic structures of a seduction is to model the process of falling in
love. The setup in this example has the couple looking at a newspaper on the
movies page with the male commenting on one of the male actors but of course you
can modify it to your liking as it is fairly easy to introduce the "cute
actor/singer/pop-star" theme into almost any conversation. Jobet Claudio,
Mindlist:
Him: He's cute ain't he?
Her: Yeah.
Him: What exactly do you feel when you look at a cute guy (gesturing
to your face).
Her: Hmm... I just feel a tingle of sorts (hah... that's one for the
echoing).
Him: You like romance movies, don't you?
Her: Yeah. I love em.
Him: I'm just curious as to why you like romance movies.
Her: They make me feel so good... you know.
Him: Yeah. It can make you FEEL THAT TINGLE, (pts) I bet.
Her: Yeah.
Him: Well, I'm curious again. How do you know that YOU'RE FALLING IN
LOVE with a guy (pts)?
Her: Well... I... I don't know... it just happens and I just realize
it.
Him: Well... I read somewhere that there's this guy who researched
about how women fall in love. In that study, he said that invariably (hah...
Cialdini authority) women (point to her) at first find this small "gateway"...
this thing that they notice about a guy (pts)... it may be small or big, like a
dimple, or a smile, or the eyes, or a soothing voice... anything. Then, the
woman begins to feel a tingling sensation when this guy (pts) is around... And
the funny thing is, this guy's (pts) presence creates a certain richness of
experience for women (pth), like, even small things, like a glance, or a look in
the eye (look in her eyes), or a short, simple, soothing chat... all that...
takes on a special meaning, that special, delicious feeling, you can't even
begin to describe... that's when you realize that...THIS GUY IS SPECIAL
(pts)...and special, in a special way...
Pattern 7
Talking about past relationships is an excellent chance to talk about the
subjects of falling and being in love. But there is an added bonus to it - you
can talk about it referring to your former love interest and you together as
"we" and you can talk about what that "we" felt describing it in the present
tense. Like this: "The beginning was so beautiful... its like... everything
around fades away... and when we are looking into each other's eyes... we can
see each other's souls". Did you notice the ambiguity? "We"... "are looking into
each other's eyes":)? Jobet Claudio from Mindlist elaborates:
"Most women are suckers for love stories. Win or lose, success or failed, they
really love love stories. Invariably, when in a conversation with a woman, the
topic of love stories (as referenced to yourself) will often crop up as you talk
about ex-boyfriends, current boyfriends, current girlfriend, ex-girlfriends etc.
Now, the "we", in the context of the story-telling, should refer to the ex and
myself, but then again, "we" is ambigous. Coupled with a couple of hand gestures
and more referential ambiguities, conscious use of the "we/us" paradigm could be
one of the most subtle, insidous and undetectable, non-verbal referential index
shifts I know.
[Example]
Me: So, you have a boyfriend?
Her: Not right now. Last one I broke up with a few months ago... how
about you?
Me: Yeah, same here. It was a beautiful relationship. Too bad it had
to end the way it did... Its like... at first... we are so much in love. We feel
that the whole world is revolving around us... you know what it's like to FEEL
TOTALLY IN LOVE, don't you? We're like that (gesture back and forth). It's like,
when we look at each other's eyes (look into her eyes)... we can see... into
each other's soul... and we can SEE... and... FEEL... that love... burning
within the both of us... warm and close enough to touch (touch her forearm, or a
non-touching gesture towards her chest)... and that bond between us... really so
strong... so powerful... so overwhelming... It does become that way at times,
now doesn't it?
[End example]
It's totally disarming, since you're supposed to be talking about a past love.
What happens though is that that past loves serves as a springboard into a
process that evokes the state of love in the woman you're talking to."
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