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Eliciting values - the answers
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NYC, ASF: "Do all this [asking questions, eliciting values] BEFORE telling her
about yourself. Then selectively edit or FABRICATE your existence to always fit
the things that she told you HERSELF are positive things and AVOID what she told
you HERSELF are negative things. Some chicks like aggressive men and some like
passive men that they can cuddle with and EVENTUALLY have sex with. Find out
FIRST which one she wants and THEN project that image to her. What happens is
that she notices that you are displaying many traits that she looks for in a
sex-partner and none of the negative traits that she uses to weed guys out. She
keeps thinking about this and reinforces it in her own mind and decides that you
are right for her to fuck. In this situation, how you REALLY FEEL is irrelevant.
You are tailoring your personality to her tastes in order to BE THAT MAN that
she wants to fuck and she will see it in you and your job will be much easier
than if you explained your true nature to her and took the "pot luck" chance
that she likes ANY of your real traits. The point of that is you need to
separate yourself from other guys talking about bullshit. Chicks hear the same
thing all the time. If you can demonstrate that you are interesting and unique,
she will WANT to be in touch with you and WANT you to call her. If you don't
convey value to her (making her laugh, making her feel sexy, etc.) there is no
reason to believe that she will give you her number when you leave."
Her favourite pastimes and hobbies can also be useful. ASF: "You found out
something she likes to do, i.e. jetski. Again this is a means value. Find out
what emotional state jetskiing generates for her. That way when you
spontaneously generate patterns, you can tailor them to the specific emotional
states SHE wants to experience."
Don't forget what you're supposed to do with the values you elicited. ASF: "It's
one thing to ask a girl questions about herself and elicit her values. It's
another to act like a tourist in her reality. I used to get involved with girls
lives and be like "Wow, that's AWESOME!" about everything they did in their
lives. Fuck that. When a guy does that, a girl thinks he has no life of his own
if he's so impressed with hers." Seems like the value-eliciting has not been put
to good use. You could of course either show her your world as well or just not
be that damn impressed with hers, but preferably you should be doing what you're
supposed to be doing with the values you elicited - you've found out the states
that are important to her, now make her FEEL those specific states.
Update. Besides finding out and making her feel the
states shel likes to feel, you also have to be able to represent the traits and
values she finds important. NYC, ASF: "They always come up with TRAITS, not
specific things. What they TELL ME they want is easily demonstrated to them
through stories, and I don't have to tell them ANYTHING directly. I would never
say "I love cats myself too...", I would tell them a story IN WHICH I
demonstrated that I like cats. I let her derive who I am by telling her a story
based on what she wants to hear in the first place:)".
See also:
Eliciting values explained
Eliciting values - introducing the questions
Eliciting values - the questions
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